I can’t do it.
I said I was ready and I am. Just not right now.
It’s been nearly 10 months and I haven’t gone a day without him at my side.
What was I thinking, planning a trip to another country while he stays here with you?
In through the nose for 8… out through the mouth for 8.
They say that should help calm my nerves.
Maybe if I turn up the volume on my headphones it will drown out my thoughts?
Recently, I took my first international trip since having our little one. Yes, he stayed back with dad and I knew the two of them would be fine. I, on the other hand, was sitting on my hands restraining them from flaring up exposing the emotional roller-coaster I was rocketing along.
As if it was meant to be, I happened to pick up my copy of You are a Badass by Jen Sincero a few days prior to departing. During my skimming and scanning, I came across the following, which felt like Sincero had written specifically for me:
“We’ve made being in fear a habit.”
“We’re taught to play it safe and not take risks, and to caution everyone around us to follow suit.”
“For the most part, when we watch someone take a leap of faith, our first reaction is to scream, “Look out!”
“If you put a bunch of crabs in a bowl, and if while they’re in there crawling all over each other, one of them tries to crawl out, the rest of them will try to pull him back down instead of push him out…Imagine how different our world would be if we were less crab-like.”
“The feeling of being afraid is real, but the fear itself is all made up because it hasn’t even happened yet…”
I’d be lying if I said these quotes eased my fear of heading back to the States with my little one in another country, but they did give me some things to ponder helping
Something I haven’t really put much thought into. However, these quotes prompted me to think personally, and professionally:
What fears occupy more of my mind and less of my experiences?
What opportunities did I let pass by because of fear?
I continued marinating on these ideas as I traveled across the Atlantic and have since typed various versions of this blog, only to delete them. Leaving me with one major takeaway, possibly this text impacted me and I can’t articulate exactly why.
That’s the true beauty of a